About Kimberly Spencer, Certified High Performance Coach, Author, & Motivational Speaker — CROWN YOURSELF by Kimberly Spencer | High Performance Life Coaching for Entrepreneurs Building Their Empire

I believe in miracles, Manolos, and that there is power + profit in mistakes.

A born-n-raised Valley Girl, powered by green juice, Italian espresso, and gallons of glitter, I am proud to have helped hundreds of leaders build their empire, breakthrough their body barriers, revolutionize their relationships, and rewrite their stories of self-sabotage into a story of success, in all areas of their life.

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WHAT’S YOUR STORY?

For as long as I can remember I’ve been obsessed with stories of women who go from rags to riches, from fear to success, and vice versa. What separates those who cave into their circumstances while others climb to the top?

Why do some self-destruct and others succeed?

As a child I always was attracted to powerful female human characters…mainly princesses…who ruled with passion, purpose, and who pioneered their own path. Every movie. Every book. Every bedtime story. My mom even had to dig deep into the bowels of library literature from ye olden days to find new princess stories. I couldn’t get enough of them. I was fascinated by their humanity, despite their royal status.

I hid inside these characters and buried myself in my imagination to escape the truth of what was going on at home. Addiction ran rampant in my house: my dad the addict, my mom the quintessential codependent. It was then, as a child when I made the decision to be an actress. 

I acted in all the wrong places - in my romantic relationships + in my relationship with myself.

I acted like I was fine when I wasn’t. I acted happy when all I wanted to do was cry. I acted healthy when all I wanted to do was puke. I started doing a dangerous dance with bulimia, body image issues, and blame that lasted 10 years. The funny thing is, most people thought I had my shit together…like really well. And, yet, I soldiered on with my story of "being the victim," blaming others for my pain.

The stories we tell ourselves are the most profound…and usually not true.

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I created this powerful story in my mind that affected every part of me - my career, my relationships, and my relationship with my body. I believed I was broken. So I continued to break off pieces of me to fit into other people’s molds of what I thought they wanted me to be. I was a chameleon. Adapting to survive.

In my story, I was never enough. 

  • Not perfect enough.

  • Not smart enough.

  • Not working hard enough.

  • Not skinny enough.

  • Not lovable enough.

So I constantly had to PROVE myself. Prove my “enoughness.” And, man did I try.

I had so many goals I thought I’d have to clone myself to accomplish them all. 

And, to make my battle to prove myself even more challenging, I had many different, seemingly unrelated desires…and goals in every single one of those arenas. Writing, acting, entrepreneurship, musical theater, fitness, film production, women’s issues, building orphanages in India, and beauty pageants (well, that was mostly because I liked the crowns).

My first film, BRO', that I co-wrote starred Danny Trejo + was bought by Lionsgate. I competed in Miss CA USA, won Miss Congeniality, and had a whole bunch of other Miss titles. I acted in London at a prestigious school in roles I’d dreamed of performing. I became a certified Pilates instructor, was named "Pilates Pro" by Oxygen magazine and started my own studio, Fitness with Kim for ten years. I was the president + spokeswoman of a quarter-of-a-million-dollar startup that sold a back stretching device and I pitched it to the first round of "Shark Tank." I ran 4 full marathons. Not a bad start, eh?

But even after all my successes, I still didn’t feel like enough.

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That’s when I realized the common denominator…me.

Because during every single one of my successes, I sabotaged it with either deflecting to my body or deflecting to my current relationship. So for every inch of career success I got, I took two steps back. For every acting success, I would obsess over how I needed to be skinner. For my success as a screenwriter, I was in several bad romantic relationships, which took my attention away from continuing to grow down that path. For every fitness success, I would sabotage with overwhelm with work, stopping the very habits that helped me feel good. For every entrepreneurial success, I felt less and less aligned, even resentful for starting that business. I neglected countless opportunities from fear. 

I was repeating the same behavior I grew up with... self-sabotage.

Codependency. Deflection. Enoughness. Escapism. Perfectionism. But what each of these really boils down to is fear. Fear of success. Fear of wholeness. And those made me self-sabotage back to the start. Because achieving wholeness + success was never something I was taught or shown. That's when I realized...

The belief that I was broken was 100% plagiarized. 

In fact, I was plagiarizing my entire life. I was imitating the language + thoughts of others and acting as if they were my own. Thoughts like I would never be enough, that I needed to work hard + neglect my family in order to have success, that I had to be perfect before I could achieve my goals, that I had to have "issues," because...well...everyone does.

who the frag is everyone, btw? 

I created this story in my mind that completely limited myself from experiencing holistic success. It was then that I realized my power of choice. I could choose to continue feeding my story, focusing on my limitations, blaming other people - family, bad boyfriends, society, my upbringing, - and everything for my choices. Or I could take my power back. It was my choice to create a story to limit myself.

That meant it was also my choice to change my story. 

when I stepped into my power of choice, my life started to change ...radically. 

And from my 10 years of working with men and women in the fitness industry, I knew that there are thousands of people struggling with the same plagiarized beliefs, the same self-sabotage, the same feeling that they had no choice, that they are broken, and that hating your body, having bad relationships, and missing out on opportunity is "just the way life is." Maybe they hadn't stuck their finger down their throat, but they constantly compared their body everyday to other women. Maybe they hadn't dated a drug-dealing felon, but they were stuck on a rollercoaster of a relationship that prevented them from focusing on their business. Maybe they hadn't grown up with an addict for a dad, but they spent their lives blaming other people, other situations, other things for never having the results they truly desired for their lives. I know because I was stuck in the same crappy cycle of perfecting, deflecting, escaping, depending, and fearing, for 18 years.

And if you're still reading...

I want you to know that you can create your own story. It starts with stepping into your Power of Choice.

Once I did, everything shifted. I left an industry I thought was my dream. I left several men and family members I loved, only to find and create a better one. I chose to stop settling for second best or being treated second rate, anymore, by anyone...including myself.

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Since then, I have lived more, loved more, and traveled more than I ever thought was possible.

I started loving my body. I met + married my best friend. Spent six weeks in Italy on our honeymoon. Wine tasted around the world. Ran a few half marathons with my hubby. Got certified as a coach in Neurolinguistic Programming. Quit my side-job. Started to scale my business when I was 7 months pregnant. Co-wrote an Amazing Bestselling Book. Had a baby...naturally. Got certified in High-Performance Coaching from the High-Performance Institute. Scaled my business 389% in its second year with no nanny and no baby. Packed for three weeks to travel to Australia in March 2020, at the beginning of the pandemic, and chose to stay to live our dream for three years. And, subsequently doubled our business (again!), doubled our profit margin (twice!), and, now, doubled my family - in that same year.

Realized I am freaking Wonder Woman. 

AND YOU ARE TOO (even if you're a dude).

The power that we have is immeasurable. The thing is, though, it's up to you to embrace it. You have to choose. And with that choice, comes all the responsibility that goes with it. Because being at Cause for your life takes guts. Sometimes it gets really hard when you stop the blame game and realize that no one else is at Cause for your life (and your results) but you.

Because once you choose, once you make that shift, that's when you have ultimate Freedom.

so, you probably clicked on this page to learn more about me.

Here's the sitch.

My favorite color is glitter (as if you didn't know).

I workout to a mix of rock, Disney pop, and show tunes.

My husband calls me "honeybee" because I'm always buzzing around.

I do my best writing while listening to movie scores from super hero films.

I co-wrote a hardcore motocross movie called, BRO'. I still have yet to ride a dirt bike.

"Defying Gravity" from Wicked has been my shower jam since 2004. It is currently my toddler son’s nightly lullaby.

My first entrepreneurial venture was at 5 selling bags of glitter water to my neighbors. I split tested the price points of 5¢ or $50.

INTERESTED IN my fancy-pants credentials? Click here.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming? Sounds Complicated. 

Not really. In short, NLP (that's Neuro-Linguistic Programming for short) is the study of excellence and how to replicate it. And that's what we do. But, let's break it down even further. 

NEURO.

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Meaning your mind. Yes, it is your big beautiful brain, you know, that thing that your crown sits on. And, it's also the rest of you. Wait, what?

In 1989, Dr. Deepak Chopra said in his book, Quantum Healing: Exploring the Frontiers of the Mind-Body Connection, that neurotransmitters bathe every single cell in our bodies. Neurotransmitters are basically chemical messengers. They transmit signals across a chemical synapse, such as a neuromuscular junction, from one neuron (nerve cell) to another "target" neuron in a muscle cell or gland cell.

that is literally the mind-body connection. 

So yes, I work with the programming of the mind, but also, because you have neurotransmitters on EVERY SINGLE CELL in your body, that means I work with your mind-body connection. That's how I can help deliver physical pain symptom relief and body image issues...because change first starts in the mind. 

Linguistic.

That's basically your language. Like Nelson Mandela said, "You cannot say anything but what you are." The language you use leaves clues as to what patterns and programming you currently have - both the programs that are working successfully and the ones with minor "glitches" that are preventing you from achieving your goals and dreams. I listen specifically to the words that you use in order to tailor your coaching program to your needs. Your language is a direct command to consciousness itself.

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Psychologist Carl Jung stated in his book, The Undiscovered Self, that we attach labels (and by "labels" I mean our language) to our reality, trying to explain it, which is the function of the conscious mind. The problem is...

As we attach labels to reality, we associate with those labels in spite of the reality itself.

Jung believed that nothing estranges men (and women) from the ground plan of his unconscious mind (or what Jung called, his "instinct") as his ability to think conscious minded.

It's like when you have that gut feeling in a relationship that something's just not right. You don't know what it is. The guy seems like he's a good guy. Maybe you've been together for a while. But there's just something that feels...off. Your gut, your instinct, your unconscious mind - call it what you will - says one thing. And your conscious mind says you "should" stay with him. Maybe because you've been together for several years. Maybe because he's a really good guy. Maybe because...and then you list every reason why you "should" stay in that relationship.

That's the divide between your conscious and unconscious mind.

So, by focusing on the language you use, I am able to notice divides like that in your relationship with your body, with others, with money, and with your business. 

and lastly...programming.

People are systems. We all have loads and loads of unconscious programming that we picked up from birth. Think about it, when was the last time you took a different route to work today? Unless there was an accident or a traffic jam, you probably took the same turns, the same roads, and the same freeways to get from home to work. That’s programming. 

Your willpower is highly overrated. That’s why motivation alone doesn’t work.

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Motivation coaching works on your conscious mind. It’s great to have, and the more you train your brain to be motivated, you’ll start to create new programming. But motivation alone isn’t enough. Most people are really motivated to change their habits come January 1, but come February what happens? That’s because they revert back to their familiar, unconscious programming. We don't make change consciously, and if we do it's an uphill battle.

95% of what we do is unconscious. 

That’s where I come in. Using Neurotransmitters-Linguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy®, hypnosis, we uncover both the positive and negative programming (i.e. baggage). Like a computer, we tweak the glitches in the software of your unconscious mind that are causing the negative programming.

it's not you, it's your pattern.

I’m not interested in how you think you're broken. I study people to find out how they are well. So when you start producing a behavior that is out of sorts - like self-sabotage - I ask, “How?” I believe you are 100% whole. The problem is you have a pattern that is out of sorts with the Queen you are. We tweak the pattern so you go back to your highest magnificence, in body, business, and life. 

Here's how it works.

The Crown Jewel of Crown Yourself Coaching

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NO. 1 - Eliminate the Negative emotions and beliefs

Using Neurolinguistic programming, Time Line Therapy® and hypnosis, we work with your unconscious mind to eliminate the limiting beliefs and negative emotions that cause you to sabotage your life in your body, your business, your relationships, or all three. As we know, if you truly want transformation, you gotta start with the unconscious mind. I work with you on an unconscious level first, before we start creating new patterns to set you up for success.

NO 2. - Create high performance Habits

Once we have all the unconscious cobwebs cleared out, I work with you on achieving your next level of clarity, energy, productivity, courage, and influence. And I teach your new strategies and tools to create those high performance habits to set you up for success. We address your psychology, physiology, productivity, people skills, and the key that ties it all together...your purpose. 

No. 3- Support your Change + Growth

And lastly, you get MASSIVE support for your change and growth. In each one of my programs and coaching packages, I support you through your transformation to ensure that your changes stick. 

How am I different from other coaches?

Most coaches focus only on No.2 and No.3 - creating new patterns and supporting the positive change. The problem is, unless you eliminate the negative emotions and limiting decisions that are buried in your unconscious, it’s going to be an uphill battle to make those new positive patterns you develop stick. And, unless a coach understands how to embed the new, high performance patterns into your unconscious mind, the new skills you learn are still stuck at the conscious level. That's just the tip of the iceberg.

That's why clearing the cobwebs of your unconscious patterns is so key.

When a coach only focuses on No.1 and No.3. - eliminating the negative emotions and limiting beliefs and and then only giving support - there’s no pattern to replace the old, negative, limiting patterns with. So that leaves you in a grey area, not having the old patterns and searching for a new patterns and habits to create. And because you still are living in the same environment with the same people, odds are that without knowing what new habits you need to practice, you'll end up reverting back to the old self. (No bueno.)

That's why learning high performance habits is so key to catapult you to the next level.

And if a coach only does No.1 and No.2 without No.3 (the support), how do you know the positive change stuck? If there’s no support post transformation, again it makes it very easy to revert back to old behavior. 

That’s why support is so key, so you actually do get to the next level.