There have been moments - I will totally OWN it - when I have thought: "God, it would have been soooo much easier had I really started growing my business without having kids!" I would have had so much more time. I could have made so much more money. I wouldn't have had to struggle so much in the beginning. And down the woulda-coulda-shoulda rabbit hole, I would go. Own your choices and tap into your reign. Click to read the full blogspiration.
“I don’t know how you do it with a kid.” Eight months ago one of my clients, a dedicated corporate career woman who thrived off of routine, structure, and spreadsheets, asked me this. She had spent the past decade in the same routine within the ”safety” of a job. She’d known me through two businesses - first as a Pilates client, then as a leadership coaching client. Fast forward to now, everyone is working from home, if they’re able to, and every kid is staying home and every parent has also become the teacher. No babysitters. No school. No playdates. No nannies (unless you have the fancy luxury of a live-in nanny...and if so, rock on, Queen!!) So how do you literally DO IT ALL? I‘ve built my business with my baby by my side, sometimes even on my chest, working from home with my husband. With three years of training, this shizzle is simple and effortless for me.
“You gotta want kids if you want to be with me.” He was 19 years older than me. In his first marriage, they had agreed not to have children. I was falling in love with him. I also knew I wanted kids. And I knew he would make a fantastic father. I wasn’t about to compromise on what I wanted. But, I was willing to walk away if I couldn’t have it all. So, I figured I’d come right out with it. Why beat around the bush, right? Yet, so often in our communication, we speak implicitly. We hint. We imply. We drop clues. But, come right out and say what you want and that you want it… To be totally and brutally honest, well that’s just brutal, right? Or is it or is it brutal to pretend you want something you don’t want, dance around the topic for years and then get your heart smashed because it didn’t happen. To me, the latter seems far more brutal with time, effort, and energy lost. It’s much easier to rip a bandaid off than to unstitch a gangrenous wound of implication. Being direct, candid, explicit with your communication allows not only you to know exactly where you stand and what you want, but others as well.
I’ll never forget holding that bouquet of pregnancy tests in my hand. I’d peed four times to make sure it wasn’t a fluke. It couldn’t be, right? This was supposed to be hard for me? No. Nope. I was pregnant. Oh. My. God. I was paralyzed with fear and I’d like to say excitement, but really it was mostly fear. I walked out of our bathroom with the awful medical green tile into our yellow padded voice over studio. It felt appropriate to deliver the news in a padded room. Spike was on the phone with one of his investors. As I stand there without saying anything, my handshaking with the sticks, immobilized. “Holy shit,” I thought to myself, “This is happening.” Spike noticed me in the doorframe and mouthed “You’re pregnant?” I could barely manage a nod. I’ll never forget the smile that grew across that man’s face. I had to borrow that confidence because I was freaking terrified.
