“You gotta want kids if you want to be with me.” He was 19 years older than me. In his first marriage, they had agreed not to have children. I was falling in love with him. I also knew I wanted kids. And I knew he would make a fantastic father. I wasn’t about to compromise on what I wanted. But, I was willing to walk away if I couldn’t have it all. So, I figured I’d come right out with it. Why beat around the bush, right? Yet, so often in our communication, we speak implicitly. We hint. We imply. We drop clues. But, come right out and say what you want and that you want it… To be totally and brutally honest, well that’s just brutal, right? Or is it or is it brutal to pretend you want something you don’t want, dance around the topic for years and then get your heart smashed because it didn’t happen. To me, the latter seems far more brutal with time, effort, and energy lost. It’s much easier to rip a bandaid off than to unstitch a gangrenous wound of implication. Being direct, candid, explicit with your communication allows not only you to know exactly where you stand and what you want, but others as well.
Why High Achievers Struggle to Meditate
“I can barely sit still for 5 minutes.” I used to pride myself on always doing. DOING. DOING. DOING. Where my high achievers at, yo! Sitting still was NOT my jam. Give me music blasting in my ears and 30-minutes at a steady clip of 6.0 miles per hour and I was golden. Moving meditations I could do. Running, pilates, pole dancing, anything that allowed my body to just release and express and let go. But... Being alone and quiet in my head used to be a dangerous place for me to rest in because I wasn’t at rest. I wasn’t at peace with myself. I warred with the light and the darkness. It was then that my mom said four words that stuck with me forever, “Be kind to yourself.”