Even I have days where I want to quit, where I wonder what's the f*ing point in all this work. Where I literally question EVERYTHING and want to choose the easy road, where the questions tickle my mind… Maybe I could be normal? Maybe I could just settle for another job, something that I didn't really care about and allow my art and creativity and absolutely love for what I do go to the back burner or go onto simmer? Maybe I could tone it down and not have such big dreams? Maybe I could TRY, desperately, to quiet the voice inside of me that pushes me on to do MORE, have MORE, be MORE? Because with passion for potential comes PAIN when people don’t recognize that their DREAM IS POSSIBLE.
Choose Joy and Give ZERO Trash Trucks About It
Declan‘s “trucks” really sounds it’s rhyming f-bomb. Thing is, trash trucks are currently his favorite thing on the planet. Every morning at our place in the Gold Coast we have at least three to six pass-and-collects by our giant floor to ceiling windows...beginning at 6:14 AM. And while the windows provide a world-class surround-sound experience earlier than I would like at that moment (I’m still in my quiet-hours of morning routine + getting stuff done), Declan is ecstatic, enraptured in over-the-moon jubilation over these waste vehicles. I mean, picture Mick Jagger or Tony Robbins or Lady Gaga style fandom, and that is my son - a garbage truck groupie. Unapologetic for his unabashed love of waste receptacle vehicles. And the joy he experiences...EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING....is the BEST cup of Decky you could ever have.
Remove YOU from Your Sales Process
You know when you find that movie or that show. You know…that one. The one that you just can’t stop thinking about it. When you’re chatting with your fellow socially distanced mates, the Netflix recommendation just pours out of your mouth amidst thirty “OMG, OMG, you have to watch this!” And, “It’s soo good,” which is appropriately said on repeat because the show just leaves you in awe, inspired, on the edge of your seat, excited for the next one, eager to enjoy it. Now think about how you promote your products and services. When you talk about it, do you talk about it with the same level of excitement and joy? Does it have the same amount of “OMG’S” and “It’s soooo good!” You have to watch this, do that, buy now, or any other CTA. Both are buying conversations. Persuasion is persuasion. Here’s the thing… If you are not the BIGGEST fan of your business, of your products, and your services, and of what you do, then HOW do you expect others to be as well?
How to Make a Healthy Business Baby
“You’re frustrated.” I could see it in her eyes, as they welled up with tears about to cry. She’d done all the visualizing. She’d journaled and future-casted, prayed, entered the astral-plane, dropped into the 5-D. She’d created more vision boards in 1 year than most do in their lifetime. She meditated, constantly, incessantly, daily. She raised her vibe, tapped into the frequency, experienced the Divine. She’d gone through therapy, reiki, sound-healing, trauma counseling, prayer-circles, support groups. She’d taken classes in neuroscience, courses in mindset, courses in Miracles. She’d surrounded herself with quartzes and played Solfeggio Hz frequencies every hour. She’d invested in herself, buying programs, hiring mentors, coaches, doing masterminds. “You’re damn right I’m frustrated…wait, no, that’s negative language. I know I shouldn’t say it, but that’s where I am.” “Because you haven’t seen results yet.” “Exactly.”
The Literary Love Affair: A Creative’s Journey Back to the Quill
I’m in love. Before coming to Australia, I felt like something was off like I wasn’t being congruent with who I am...like I was missing something. Ever felt like that? Like, OMG, I’ve created everything I’ve ever wanted - a business I adore, with a family I absolutely love, an awesome Queen team, able to travel the world, live the #laptoplifetstyle - but....why am I not more motivated to go for more? What’s missing in my life? In the past, I’ve gone down the rabbit hole searching for all those answers in all the wrong places - in men, in food, in looking a certain way, in needing validation from other people. All fruitless, meaningless dead ends. It’s easy to start swinging for the fences, throwing spaghetti against a wall in moments like this. Maybe this thing! Maybe this thing! Oh, shiny! Maybe this! But it’s never a thing, it’s about WHO YOU BE.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Applying Pressure to Climb the Pyramid of Creativity
Feeling the pressure to perform right now - to do more in your business? To push harder? Does it feel like it’s stretching the walls of what you thought you were capable of? ...But, if we’re being honest, you like it...the pressure. When it’s the right amount, it’s a rush to see what you can create, accomplish, and what can flow forward when there are external pressures - time, money, deadlines. Creativity is like sex. When an idea penetrates your mind, and it is the pressure that allows for the oh-so-good orgasm of genius to flow from your mind into physical reality. Pressure is necessary to birth anything into reality.
Experiencing the Creative, Sexual Energy of Manifestation
Have you ever felt like you couldn’t get started because you didn’t have any creative ideas? Have you ever dallied down the dark spiral of feeling uninspired, waiting, hoping, praying, NAY! BEGGING to the gods on high for some spark of inspiration? For some light to shine forth upon you from the heavens showering you with genius? Sometimes a light comes on. Sometimes a switch is flicked in the midst of “not doing anything” and a pure stroke of brilliance whacks you like a lightning bolt. ...But more often than not, you gotta sit your butt down do the freaking work. Creativity is like sex. Sometimes you’re not in the mood, not really inspired to do it, but a kiss here, a touch there, a little flirtation, and once the making out starts, you’re like “Okay, I’m game.”
Wanting to hide right about now?
There are some days I want to retreat. There are times when I just want to cower and hide and bury myself in the cocoon of my blankets and pretend like the world around me doesn’t exist. There are moments, sometimes days when I just want to hide behind the veil of “not knowing how” and quietly sip the poison of my excuses and allow its slow erosion eat through the intestines of my dreams like colitis of the creative. Yes, I have my moments. Sometimes they even last a day. I hide knowing that I will be rebirthed through the labor pains as I dig through the plagiarized programming, conditioned addicted feelings of “not-enoughness” and “who cares” because I know what’s on the other side... Sweet freedom.
Rising Above the Noise of Fear: How to Handle the Haters, Dislikers, and People Who Disagree with Your Message
I lost a friend to COVID. Don’t worry she’s still alive, she didn’t have COVID...she was plagued like many, with fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a different opinion about fear. Fear of being wrong about fear. Fear of fear. I lost her because she no longer wanted to be my friend. It still hurts sometimes. Fear always does. Deep down, I’m sure there’s still that little five-year-old girl in me who’s begging to be liked, praying that someone will just love her, notice her, accept her for who she is. I didn’t want to share this. I felt embarrassed. Marred - like you would think that I’m a bad person for admitting that someone out there in the ether didn’t like me or what I put out there on the interwebs. Ashamed, questioning? Should I feel bad? Should I not have shared what was on my heart and soul about how I saw people treating other people - using a pandemic to shame, blame, vilify, and divide people who have a different opinion, different data sources, different discoveries, different solutions?
Why the Art of Receiving is as Important as the Act of Giving
When I first started my business, I marketed and worked with 99% women - fierce, badass, driven, ambitious women who wanted it all and who were willing to put their nose to the grindstone, do the work, hustle hard, pedal to the metal, push themselves until they broke down or burnt out, the go-go-goal-getters who were driven AF to move heaven and earth to do the work. Usually, it was from a place of giving, of service, of a desire to be more, do more, share more, serve more. It didn’t matter whether they were giving to 1300 students in an online course, or giving money, time, energy, to their kids, giving to everyone, everyone...except themselves. Giving from lack is not giving from love.
Why Service-Based Entrepreneurs Should Always Be Selling
“I don’t want to come off as too salesy.” My client was struggling with what a lot of solopreneurs struggle with - how much is too much selling? How do you balance messaging and adding value with selling? Let me ask you this… “When you go into a coffee shop, do you get mad or upset at the barista for trying to sell you coffee?” “No…” my client looked at me quizzically. “Have you ever had a barista say, ‘I’m sorry, I’m not feeling worthy today of selling you a coffee?’” “No,” she said with a laugh. I persist, “And even if, let’s say, that did happen, and you were standing in the coffee shop, even just considering purchasing a coffee, even if you weren’t sure what you wanted, and that barista said that to you, you’d possibly even feel a little offended, right? Like, why are you saying you’re “OPEN” then if you’re not going to sell me a dang cup of coffee?’ Right?” She laughed, “I think this is what you call...a BREAKTHROUGH.”
Consume vs. Create
“Who is this person?” I thought. Fifteen minutes had flown by, my thumb was pulsating as my soul was shrinking into Facebook oblivion. I caught myself in a moment of lightening awareness, with the thunderous rumble of creation roaring through my veins. “What am I even doing?” I’d spent the past fifteen minutes scrolling, sensing, feeling, consuming messages of hope, despair, light, darkness, facts, conspiracy, quotes, and images of lunch and COVID tests. What I’d accomplished...nothing. What I’d felt...everything. It’s easy to get enthralled into the black hole of consuming on social media. It gives our brains the dopamine rushes like a heroin addict as our thumbs repetitively shove the scrolling into our eyeballs, heightening our senses while simultaneously numbing them. I put the phone down on the table and walked outside for a breath of fresh air. Even as high performers, it’s easy to get lost in the addiction to consume - Netflix, alcohol, mindless scrolling on social media, sugar. The list goes on and on of the cavities of excuses that we use to justify. What I’ve seen, especially with high performers, is that sometimes, they think it’s almost justifiable. More often…
Why You Must Be Willing to Be Wrong In Order to Achieve Your Dreams
Are you ever so freaking scared of doing the wrong thing? Making the wrong move? Being the “wrong” person for the job? I cannot tell you how many times I used to listen to what everyone told me what I “should” be, “should” do, how I “should” feel. How much money I was “supposed” to make before I could call myself successful. How much struggle I was “supposed” to experience before I could experience fulfillment in the work that I do. How I was “supposed” to feel jaded about my industry, about my business, about life. How business was “supposed” to be done, and how if I didn’t do it to their f*ing blueprint that I was incapable, incompetent, and wrong.
When Joy is Faced with a Scarcity Mindset
As a Type A, perfectionist, A+ student, I looooooved getting extra credit. Only 100? Why not 110%? Or 115%? Or...screw it...150%!! Yaaaaaas, teacher, please give me the extra work, the extra tasks, the extra assignments. Easy to see how that could easily program one to associate MORE work, MORE suffering, MORE struggle with MORE results, right? Here’s the thing [First Name]... More work just equals more work. And what I’ve seen working with high achievers for the past 3 years, and being one for the last...well, ALL the years of my life...is that so often we make it an even trade: WORK X AMOUNT HARD = X AMOUNT OF RESULTS Where are the miracles, the fun, the joy in that? Where does that leave room for the Universe/God/ Source to show up in more powerful ways than you could have ever imagined?
Have the Courage to Feel Joy in Times of Fear
Who says you HAVE to feel fear right now? (And, BTW, why are you listening to them?) This isn't about the realness COVID as a disease, or that many people are losing their jobs, have lost their businesses, or that we’re in the middle of the greatest economic recession of all time, or the new hardships we’re all facing to varying degrees with #quarantinelife. This is about QUESTIONING what you're being told to FEEL in the midst of hardship. Who says you're "SUPPOSED" to feel panic? Who says you "SHOULD" feel fear? YOU FEEL WHAT YOU FREAKING FEEL. Why can’t you feel joy, love, and a deeper connection to your family right now? Who says you can’t be excited about the transformation going on both in your life and in the lives of everyone around the world? Why can’t you feel gratitude for this time of hibernation from the busy and allow yourself to create?? Who says you can't feel excited for this time of innovation and pivoting in your business? Why can’t you feel grateful for this time of worldwide service to the health of others? And, yes, I get certain life circumstances don’t always make it easy to reach for joy and faith and courage.
How “Essential” Is Your Business During a Pandemic
“My business isn’t essential for survival.” Ummmm, excuse me? I thought as I stared at my client last week, my mouth agape. Now, look, I know a lot of people are labeling certain businesses as essential and non-essential, so I had to dive deeper. “Essential for the survival of whom, specifically?” I asked, “For you. For it? For the people you serve?” “Of course it’s essential for me,” she replied, “But for humanity when people are in crisis, it’s not like I’m in healthcare or selling food.” “What are humans starving for more than food right now?” She paused. I held the space for the appropriate cinematic moment before the #micdrop came out of my mouth.
“Picking Your Brain” is For People Pleasers
“You wanna grab coffee, sometime? I’d love to pick your brain.” Would you ever say that to a doctor? Or a therapist? Or a lawyer? “Hey, doc! I’ve got this thing going on in my stomach? You wanna grab coffee, sometimes? I’d love to pick your brain about what it could be.” No! You’d make an appointment, pay the bill, and go have the freaking doctor check out your issue. Yet, so often, I’ve seen service-based entrepreneurs, especially when we first start out and are hungry for clients, we allow ourselves to be deluded by the “pick your brain” verbal opt-in thinking that it’s going to lead to that person becoming a client. More often than not, I’ve seen the “pick your brain over coffee” really be - you doing the coaching, pouring your heart and soul out, and divulging your years of information and experience onto the table...for the price of a $5 cup of coffee. Ouch. If you’re lucky it’s an $8 venti with whip. But still, it ain’t your normal coaching rate. And, sadly, both of you get what you pay for.
The Power of Your Queen Team Business Rhapsody
One of my favorite bands of all time is Queen. When we temporarily relocated to Australia, Spike bought me a Freddy Mercury Funko doll (you know those tiny-body, giant-headed, fits in the palm of your hand toys) for my “office” area. Maybe it was the sunny-still vibe of another day in Queensland, or the butterflies flying past my windows, or my run past the building named “Rhapsody” in Surfer’s Paradise that morning, but in a moment of deep introspection, I spoke to my Freddy Funko. Look, I owned my crazy a long time ago, so this is not too out of the ordinary. I was looking for a connection. I believe everything happens FOR a reason, for our greater learning, growth, and evolution. So all of these things, all of these signs, I just could not ignore. “What is it about Freddy Mercury? About Queen? About Rhapsody?” I mused.
The Lion Inside
One of my favorite things about being a mom - okay, #letsbehonest, there are LOTS of favorite things - but one of them is children’s books. Being a obsessed with the mind and knowing what I know about subconscious programming, I keep a watchful eye on what lessons, learnings, books, and knowledge Declan is consuming right now. After we decided to hunker down in Australia for the next few months, I knew that we needed more books than What do You Do with an Idea and the rainbow book. Both great books...but this mama needed some variety. We were in Big W, and I saw this one book - The Lion Inside. It’s about how a little mouse who is ignored and feels small and forgotten, admires this Lion...and his ROAR. The mouse decides that if he had a ROAR like a lion, he could have a voice. So even though he was scared, even though he acknowledges that this might mean he becomes Lion’s dinner, he musters up the courage and he seeks out the Lion to teach him his roar. One of my favorite lines in the book is... “If you want things to change, you first have to change you.”
How to Be the Quarantine Queen-B of Productivity
“I don’t know how you do it with a kid.” Eight months ago one of my clients, a dedicated corporate career woman who thrived off of routine, structure, and spreadsheets, asked me this. She had spent the past decade in the same routine within the ”safety” of a job. She’d known me through two businesses - first as a Pilates client, then as a leadership coaching client. Fast forward to now, everyone is working from home, if they’re able to, and every kid is staying home and every parent has also become the teacher. No babysitters. No school. No playdates. No nannies (unless you have the fancy luxury of a live-in nanny...and if so, rock on, Queen!!) So how do you literally DO IT ALL? I‘ve built my business with my baby by my side, sometimes even on my chest, working from home with my husband. With three years of training, this shizzle is simple and effortless for me.